Lillian, one of the survivors in our support group, has graciously shared her story and the impact of IFAGE’s programs on her life.

Please be advised that this story contains accounts of sexual assault and violence.

My name is Lilian, and I am a 36-year-old woman from Siaya. My life has been a rollercoaster of hardships and struggles, but it is also a tale of strength and resilience.

At the tender age of 14, I found myself married, hoping for a bright future. However, my dreams were shattered when my first two daughters came into the world. Their father was unable to support us, leaving us to fend for ourselves. Life was tough, but I persevered, determined to give my girls a better life.

Years later, fate led me to a man who seemed caring and loving. He took us in and provided for us, and for a while, life felt more hopeful. But as time passed, he began to change, transforming into a wild and angry person. My heart sank as I witnessed him becoming violent and abusive towards my precious daughters.

Confused and terrified, I could not comprehend the darkness that had engulfed our lives. Then, one heartbreaking day, my second-born daughter ran away from home because she had lost her step-father’s hard disk, leaving behind a heart-wrenching letter. In that letter, she revealed the unbearable truth: my partner had been sexually harassing her. I was in shock and devastated. But little did I know that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

As I dug deeper into the truth, my worst fears were confirmed. My first daughter bravely opened up to me, sharing the painful secret she had been carrying silently. She disclosed that this man had been forcing himself on her, violating her trust and her body. The weight of her pain and the burden of her silence weighed heavily on my heart. She confessed that he had threatened to harm her if she ever revealed the truth, leaving her trapped in a cycle of terror.

I had given birth to two children for him, during my last born’s antenatal clinic, I found out that I was HIV positive. I was shocked and heartbroken. I confronted him, but he turned violent and abusive. He warned me to leave his house together with my children, took away all my business stock and shut everything down. He gave me an ultimatum: when the defilement case reached the local authorities I should leave, or he would kill all of us. Meanwhile, I also found out that he had another woman besides his first wife and he was never faithful. The other woman also became his accomplice and could inform him of the proceedings of the case.

One dark night, after he’d gone into hiding, he came together with some other men, tied me up and started beating me. I screamed for help but he took my daughter too. He tied her up and warned me not to scream again or else he would kill me before my daughter.

My other daughter who was sleeping in the kitchen outside heard the commotion and ran for help. People came and the men fled. It was then that I knew I had to act, not just for my daughters but for every survivor who had suffered in silence.

I left with nothing but my children, then I got to an Anglican priest’s homestead. He welcomed me, listened to me, and gave me shelter for two days. Then he then took me to the Institute for Faith and Gender Empowerment (IFAGE). Apparently he was one of the Gender Champions.

I felt relieved when I met the IFAGE staff and the other survivors like me. We shared our stories and it made me feel at home. They took my two girls to school, at a very good school in Bondo after being counseled and undergoing a medical screening.

Together with other survivors and with the support of the caring IFAGE team, I found the strength to break free from this nightmare. Together, we embarked on a journey of healing, seeking justice, and empowering ourselves. Today, I have accepted my condition and I adhere to my medication. IFAGE facilitated my hair dressing business by giving me the seed money. I couldn’t be happier and I am so grateful.

My story is not just one of tragedy; it is a testament to the indomitable spirit of survivors like me. Today, I stand tall as a survivor, reclaiming my life and fighting for justice for my daughters and every survivor who deserves to be heard and protected.

Through the support of IFAGE and their survivor-centered approaches, I have found my voice, and I now stand as a beacon of hope for those who need it most. My journey to freedom continues, and I am determined to break the chains of silence and empower others to find their strength and resilience.

Thank you for standing with me and countless survivors on this journey of healing and empowerment. My plea is that IFAGE builds a rescue center for the survivors and I pray that God grants them a stronger and able legal team to help us seek for justice, as that is my ultimate want and a survivor. Above all God bless the IFAGE team, I am nothing without them.

With love and gratitude,
Lilian

To conclude, thank you for being an integral part of IFAGE’s journey. Your commitment and compassion will undoubtedly make a difference in the lives of gender-based violence survivors, fostering a brighter and more equitable future for everyone